Thank you, MsGrace, Takingcharge and hydrogirl, so much for your kind and encouraging words. It's just what I needed at this time. I thank you too for your wisdom and the tips you have given. May I do the same for you as I pray for each of you God's peace, love and faith...
I will be as careful as I can but I have never felt physically threatened... Ah has never hit me and only once long ago come close in 34 years of marriage. But he has been emotionally abusive for sure. Never occured to me about him being abusive in this way until recently... Doing my best to put God first and going to alanon has helped me become more immune to his hurtfulness/abuse than I used to be. I am more at peace. My husband has also told me he has arthritis in his shoulders and hand and the pain keeps him from sleeping well every night. I guess he is trying to use that as an excuse for his bad moods, addiction and rude behavior.
I don't think this is a good enough excuse but who am I to tell because I don't have pain like that. Still perplexed........
Grace and Peace