Hi FML, looking at life through clear sober glasses reveals some of he dirt that we have created from our past actions & mistakes (with & without alcohol).
You are now in the conscious stage of dealing with you life sober, something you probably haven't done for quite some time.
The best way for you to be truly clean again is to look at that wonderful person in the mirror & forgive yourself for your past mistakes & and start to love yourself again. We have all made many mistakes in the past, its time to let them go.
Start being the person you want to be little by little everyday & you will become who you want to be. Instead of a shower maybe try reading a positive book or meditation. I find I feel good about myself when I do good things for others & think nice thoughts (about myself, others & our world), it really can be that easy sometimes.
You can wash the outside (your body) as much as you want but it is your spirit (inside) that wants to be held & loved. Love & forgive yourself today, love that little child that you once were... your inner child is inside you now & needs to be held/loved again.
We only live in the present moment we can do nothing of your future or past.
We are with you on this journey, take care
