I'm glad you were able to gain something out of my post Sophia
If you are going to the clinic on Tuesday, it's very important to make sure you still have Opiates in your system by that time, so you can actually be put on the Methadone this time around. Vicodin can be detected in the urine for 2-4 days after you take it:
Vicodin half life: how long does Vicodin remain in your body? | Addiction Blog
As long as you have Opiates in your system, they shouldn't turn you away this time. You sound like the type of person that could really benefit from Methadone Maintenance.
The only reason I didn't have to have Opiates in my system when I went on, is because I was locked up in a hospital for a couple of months at the time, and I was considered an
emergency case. I didn't get mine at the clinic back then. But where I live the clinics require that you have Opiates in your system as well, to be able to go on the Methadone program.
When you go there, they should provide you with more info. about the program, and they'll make sure you are stablized on a right dose eventually as well, as long as you are honest with everything and keep telling them how you are feeling things should go well. I'm pretty sure they will ask you about your using history, like the amounts you were using, what you were using, and stuff like that. It is important to be truthfull to them throughout your time there, that way they can help you properly and make sure you are given the right amount of medication.
I think you would be really happy with the life a proper daily dose of Methadone can provide. Compared to the short-acting Opiates, life on Methadone is fantastic. And I think it would be really good for your children as well Sophia.
At most clinics where I live, they give you a purple book all about Methadone to read before going on it. It is very useful if you are considering Methadone, and there's been times where I've even read it after I've already gone on, because of all of the useful information inside. If you want to read it ahead of time you can read the whole book here, by scrolling down to the table of contents section and clicking on whichever section interests you most:
Methadone Maintenance Treatment: Client Handbook-CAMH
It isn't too long or anything either, and I think it can be really useful for
anyone considering Methadone, and wanting to know more about it.
The life of an addict is no way for anyone to have to live, and I absolutely hated it as well. It was like hell on earth for me. And I couldn't stop on my own no matter what I did either, so this is where the Methadone really came in handy for me. It's really turned things around for me completely and saved my life in so many ways.
I really hope things get better for you Sophia. And I wish you the best of luck.
Update: It's been about two weeks since I upped my dose to 60mgs. The dose is perfect for me and it hasen't changed either. I wake up and I don't feel sick anymore. I'm held so much better at this dose. My cravings are gone completely and I actually like my dreams a lot now to. I get a new script today, and I have decided to stay at 60mgs this time around and not go any higher. This dose seems like the 'sweet spot' for me. It isn't too much, and it isn't too little. Things have been going really well on the new dose, and I finally feel stablized properly, and I feel the way I should feel. I don't have cravings for other drugs either, not even in the mornings before I get my dose, and my thoughts feel like my own, and not unwanted basically. I'm really happy that I finally found the right dose for me. It may have took just over a year to get here, but the fact in the matter is, I got here. There isn't really any side-effects at this dose for me either. I still have a sex-drive, I don't sweat a bunch like I did on the higher doses, and I am not all plugged up and constipated either, I just feel "normal". I still have feelings like any average Joe as well, I still care about things, and my dose lasts me at least 24 hours until I get my new dose the next day. I have great sleeps now, I feel in conrtol of things again, and I have more energy at this dose as well. When I was on lower doses, I would have the most energy for 5 hours or so after my dose, and than by the end of the day(12 hours or so afterwards), I wouldn't want to do much and wouldn't have the energy to do things that I would normally do after first getting my dose. But on 60mgs, the energy seems to last me the whole day. When the 12 hour mark comes around after a dose, I still have the energy to do anything that I would normally do right after taking a dose. Things are pretty much right where I want them to be at this dose
.
I am definitely glad I went up to a proper dose, and I'm very happy that I didn't just keep going up this time around as well.
Thanks for all the support everyone! I really appreciate it.