@ Tigger, I really don't want to go back to drinking...it was "too easy" for me all this time and I guess I was bound to hit some rough patches. I also was just thinking while reading all your responses that my insomnia may be related to a surgery I have coming up that I am nervous about. Perhaps subconciously I am just a bit more anxious about it then I thought haha DEE, I will definitely check out that link right now, thanks
It will actually be easy for me to "skip" this wedding as I was invited by a friend who's other date bailed because they broke up. The person getting married is someone from high school but won't even notice if I am not there haha So this is all just my addict mind looking for a reason to give in. I am sure I could find something to do for new years...the wedding is in my home state (not where I live now) so if I was willing to travel for that guess I could travel to see a sober or "supportive" friend. Thanks so much for all your advice and responses. Even if I did spend NYE alone, I would regret that less than waking up in a hotel room far from home, still in my evening attire unsure of what happened the night before, heart and head pounding with anxiety (shudder)