This post was actually what I needed to read today.. I have been on short term opiates for 12 years..Today is day two of being clean, I have an appointment at a methadone clinic on Tuesday. They turned me away a few years ago because I didn't have any vicodin in my system at the time (I had been clean for a week) so I am hoping they won't turn me away this time. I am been a chronic relapser and I felt normal the first time I ever took a vicodin. I just think my brain was programmed that way. I don't want to relapse again, I am killing myself with the drugs. I have three small kids and if being on methodone can give me and them somewhat of a normal life then I am willing to try it. I am tired of doctor shoppping and looking on the streets for my next fix. But my brain won't stop the cravings even months after being sober (I was sober when I was pregnant and immediately relapsed as soon as my kids were born.. within hours I was being shot up with something.)-I have been scared that I can't function without my opiates. I tried the 12 step meetings and they helped but the whole time I was thinking how can I feel normal. I mean even after months I felt dysfunctional and the cravings were awful. They never have gone away.. I hate living this way. That you for sharing your methadone journey, it makes me feel less alone in all of this.