Thanks everyone. This board is my lifeline. I know I need help and I'm not ashamed of that. And so many posts and responses that are written for other people feel like they are meant for me. So much support.
Debsam, you voiced my thoughts exactly. I love to cook, love to eat, and enjoy my wines. I fear never being able to have that again but I clearly am not able to stop at one glass. It's not about enhancing the taste - it's about oblivion. Not what great vintners had in mind.
Tigger, that's great news about week 2 and week 3. Week 1 was all about getting to today. and I do need goals to work towards. So, 14 days and then 21 days.
Been also thinking about AA. Very nervous about getting more public about my problem. I figure I need it but am not quite ready.