Hiya Talltrees!
Welcome-
Glad you found a meeting nearby! Meetings are only an hour or so - it is worth getting a babysitter for that short time if you can!
AlAnon is where I finally learned how to turn my head around from my warped way of thinking about all the As in my life (father, 3 bros and a seriously codependent mom). I have been through many different periods of no contact with my bros at times, because i had to get my thinking straight. I found pretty quickly that my fear over it beng a big deal etc or having to deal with their anger about me going no contact was all just a fantasy (nightmare) in MY mind.
I keep it all about me - for example I don't tell them "You are toxic I must stay away," if they are pestering me - I keep it about me - In fact there was no need to make any kind of announcement - I just started focusing on me and my own problems etc - and if they asked me to do something or come to some event I can keep it all about me and just say "I'm going through something right now, I just need some space." Amazingly (and not surprisingly!) the alcoholics never offer ME help! They generally go back to thinking only abut themselves and their insane sick behavior.
Try not to think of no contact as permanent - just take it one day at a time - periods of no contact have been times for me to focus on me and my mental health and MY children's well being. In fact, having that geographical distance is helpful - I kept my kids entirely away from their oldest uncle - who managed to quit drinking but smokes pot 24/7/365, because he moved thousands of miles away and I just never arranged a trip there while my kids were young!
As for the twins - that is tough - but I have some nieces who I don't get to see much but we have a lively and fun letter and phone relationship. Little kids LOVE to get things in the mail - books (that you can read at the same time and discuss) puzzles, a package of autumn leaves or seashells and a letter about how you collected them -- all that can create an authentic and loving relationship even though you may not be able to physically spend time with them right now. They will get the message that you are SANE, normal, caring and there for them.
Tough stuff - but learning to accept that I control my time and I control who I see and who I allow around my kids made a big difference for me - working the AlAnon program gave me the strength, the tools, and the words! And the ability to choose peace and reject chaos!
Peace-
B