NC,
You drank because you have not decided you are a non-drinker yet. That is not intended as a slight. I am not a believer that we have no control over our fate, and yet we clearly are where we are on our path because that is exactly where we are supposed to be.
As long as you remain in a reactionary state, all your decisions will be made by what is going on around you. That is not a criticism, just an observation. You can either keep going like this, or you can decide that you are the designer of your destiny. Once you have decided that, you will find it amazing how many things start going your way.
FT