Thanks people.
If I'm honest I don't think I've been trying hard enough. It's tough staying away from the pubs - I know my girlfriend wants us to have a good social life together, but at the same time she bears the brunt of the horrible person I become when I'm drunk. It's her birthday coming up, she's got a night out planned with her friends a week on Friday. I know she wants me there, and I'd feel like a really crap boyfriend for not being there, but at the back of her mind I think she fears what sort of night it might turn into if I get drunk. And I certainly fear it.
She has no problem herself with drink, and enjoys nights out without any of the problems booze causes me. I don't like the idea of her having a seperate social life. It's like we'd be missing out on having a good time together, and getting the best from the relationship.
She understands that I need to quit, she hates what booze does to me (us), yet she wants me there, joining in the fun. I don't want her to stop going out with her friends just because I have a problem. I only see her on weekends, due to work commitments, so this makes it harder to let us both have a balanced life of friends as well as our time. But I don't want it to become 'us and them' in my head. I'd love to go out with her and her friends, as her boyfriend, and a friend of the group, and not have a line between what we do as a couple, and what she does with her friends.
I feel selfish that I'm holding us both back. I know I've got to put my needs first if I'm going to beat this demon, but the social and relationship implications make it tough. If I was single, it would probably be easier in some respects. And I know I've just contradicted what I said in an earlier post! I wouldn't mind losing drinking buddies if that had to happen to get me right, but there's no way I can lose my girlfriend.
I'm sorry if this has turned into a bit of a relationship thread rather than a recovery thread, but it's all relevant to my problem. Thankyou again for the advice and taking the time to reply. And apologies if I come across as not putting in enough effort.
Talking to you guys really helps. Thankyou.