Ok, so a bit of an update.
I have relapsed.
Possibly three or four times since my last post.
My depression seems to have come back with quite a bang recently.
I don't feel as articulate as I could be at the minute, so apologies for that. Things are far from great. My mood is taking its toll on my relationship with my girlfriend - she seemed understanding, but it's as if she doesn't know what side of me to expect from one day to the next, and I can tell she's getting tired of feeling less like a girlfriend and more of a mental nurse. And that in turn makes me feel less loved. And insecure, again. That sounds selfish, but christ I need some love.
Can't add much more. I've phoned in sick, going to have a few days off. God knows. Sometimes I wonder if I was put on the wrong ******* planet.