Originally Posted by
Seared 
So, this past weekend my university had its big rival football game. Lots of alumni there, including myself, and lots of drinking. I went out with some of my old college friends, to bars, and drank diet soda and iced tea the whole time! I made it through the entire weekend without drinking alcohol, despite being surrounded by it. Then, on Monday, I relapsed! I guess i was having this mindset of "can't drink, can't drink, can't drink" all weekend, and then after I made it through that, "rewarded" myself with alcohol...just like I always did in college. A big exam one week, and the weekend comes, time to drink! I'm afraid I still think like that.
Btw, I don't go out to bars regularly; this was just one special time. If I went out to bars regularly, I'd become dead in the water pretty fast.
Thank you for sharing. I am learning the same thing about myself. I can be around alcohol/drinkers for a bit and be okay, but if it becomes consistent, I get this attitude of "I can't do it, so I want to." It is easiest for me to just not be around it, and, when I have to be, to focus on the attitude of "I CAN drink, but I don't want to, because the benefits of sobriety are so great and continued recovery is my goal."
You've picked yourself back up and can only go forward from here. :-) Best wishes.