Harleyq,
Whatever difficulties in your life and in your marriage did not happen overnight. It will take time for recovery and healing. Two days is just a beginning. Be kind to yourself. You don't "suck". You have an illness known as alcoholism. It isn't a matter of character; it is a matter of chemistry, how your body processes alcohol. What more can you do? Focus on recovery, on getting healthy. That is your primary responsibility right now.
Susan Lauren