Dude, you are trying to control her feelings and behaviors by what you do and say or what you don't do and say.
The first step is to admit her drinking problem is hers. It's not yours or anyone else's. Your not ignoring it you are simply letting it go. She will get better only when she is ready to get better and not one second sooner.
I left my wife 8 months ago after her last binge. Both daughters are pissed at her and she hasn't seen her grandchildren since than and STILL she won't admit that she has an addiction problem. She has been in and out of detox and rehabs and involuntary commitments and STILL she doesn't admit she has an addiction problem.
So, let go of her problem and work on yourself. I am so glad that I did.
Your friend,