Originally Posted by
breakingglass 
like a fool i went back home. he stayed sober for about a day. the drinking is not as intense as before but enough to irriate and anger me. we both started going to therapy. though i know the councelor is trying to help us both i don't really care for the "god" talk that seems to be a big part of his methods. he keeps telling me i should go to alanon..... and most of the stuff he reads to us contains a lot of that "spiritual" lingo. can someone please explain to me how they intend to help me distance myself from my husband's alcoholism? what are they going to have me do to live through this pain without feeling it? i dont want to go to alanon to be quite honest. if its anything like what he reads to us then i just as soon not. i will not benefit from sermons of godly grandure. sorry if that doesn't sit well with some people....i'm just not a very big church going, speech listening, sermon loving person..... i asked him to tell me in black and white....he said "get a divorce". is it that easy? why can't i just walk out?
i hate myself for going back there in the first place. my daughter just announced that she was having a baby. it won't be allowed in the house with an alcoholic by her, or by me. i have until june to set myself straight. and i have no idea how i'm going to do that. i thought i had this all figured out. its so much more difficult then i imagined. what is this hold that this alcoholic has on me?
i cry every morning.... it has to stop or i am going to become even more depressed than i already am.
I had to smile to myself reading your post. You see I have been very successful with an Al-Anon program and I am what is referred to as a strong atheist. I not only don't believe in god I don't see any need for a god in the universe. Occam's razor and all that.
BUT, I can still make the program work. I have several higher powers. One is the wisdom of the group. I had to admit I couldn't do this by myself and I needed help. Another is my inner wisdom. When you learn to meditate and live in the moment and to turn off or at least slow down that delusional stream of conciseness that is always chattering in your head you begin to relax, get centered, accept there are things you can control (your choices and attitudes) and things you can't (everything else). Finally there is the universe itself. To me let go and let god becomes let go and let the universe unfold as it will. It's going to anyway so why fight it.
I can tell you that I am in a so much better place than I was. I am whole and complete and content and happy and centered and serene since I joined Al-Anon and turned my focus on myself, where it belongs.
So don't let the god thing stop you. There is too much help to be found in those rooms that you should let a little 3 letter word stop you.
BTW, PM me if you want to talk about this offline.
Your friend,