Originally Posted by
Bernadette 
When I stopped telling the As in my life what I thought they should be doing, what I thought was their problem, what I thought was the right thing to do and started REALLY letting them own their own problem, just let it be squarely on their shoulders, it made a huge difference for my mental health. I just stopped listening to their promises, arguments, defending. It was all a ruse so that time continued to pass and it didn't get in the way of their drinking! Because NOTHING gets in the way of their drinking. That's the definition of an alcoholic.
Peace-
B
Yes!! It is like banging your head on a brick wall trying to knock down a house. You get a migraine and a bloody head and the wall still stands. There was a post/analogy about that I'm going to search for. I'll bump it if I find it.
It does not matter what they say, promise, agree to, intend to do, or really want. None of it matters. They may believe it and they may just be saying what we want to hear so we stop talking but either way - they will follow the voice of their addiction.
They follow that voice until they decide to do something about it and we can't control when that happens.