The best explanation on the difference between religion and spirituality I've ever heard is that religion is for people who are afraid of hell - spirituality is for people who have been there.
I didn't want to go to al-anon either (and I still don't) but nothing else was/is helping me. I hurt ALL the time, emotionally as well as physically. Two months ago, I started to go to Al-anon meetings. I now go to at least 2 a week (as well as my AA meetings). I talk to other women. I read the literature. I come to this forum. Sometimes I still think it's (Al-anon) all crap. Other times? I get a profound sense of well-being - and that keeps me coming back because it is giving me hope.
It might be worth a try.
Best wishes to you!
Blue