I learned in AlAnon how constant discussion and disagreement about alcohol ia a form of enabling. It puts the focus on the disagreement, on the conflict between what I think is right and what the A will say to defend their ongoing dysfunction. Does that make sense? it gives the A an excuse to look at YOU and your demands or your comments as the problem and keeps them still one step from seeing themselves.
It was a hard concept to get my head around but eventually I saw that it was true.
Actions only, actions only show the truth - words are a distraction. I agree w/ m1k3 - you may as well be having your discussions with a tree.
When I stopped telling the As in my life what I thought they should be doing, what I thought was their problem, what I thought was the right thing to do and started REALLY letting them own their own problem, just let it be squarely on their shoulders, it made a huge difference for my mental health. I just stopped listening to their promises, arguments, defending. It was all a ruse so that time continued to pass and it didn't get in the way of their drinking! Because NOTHING gets in the way of their drinking. That's the definition of an alcoholic.
Peace-
B