Originally Posted by
boyersj 
I guess what I have decided to do is make it as painful on her with tough love as she has me and the kids. If she sees the truth instead of her illusion, then she will finally submit to the path to a healthier life.
The purpose of tough love is not to inflict pain on the other party. Tough love is about letting go and no longer enabling the alcoholic. The alcoholic is allowed to feel the consequences of her/his actions.
Judging from that second sentence of yours, it appears to me you somehow feel you can get her to "see the truth" and you are just not that powerful.
Also, alcoholics can never be a typical drinker.