I agree with you Mike. I guess what I have decided to do is make it as painful on her with tough love as she has me and the kids. If she sees the truth instead of her illusion, then she will finally submit to the path to a healthier life. Last night she called me a drama queen lol. Its funny what will be said to project to another. Its ok though, I have decided to be strong and not give up. If she cracks and leaves, that is on her. The focus had been on how she was hurt and at least now she has seen that others are hurting as well. I am not trying to fix her just so everyone knows, kinda like an intervention. I have plans to leave town for the Thanksgiving weekend so it will be interesting to see what transpisres. She also has today off (every Tuesday) in fact, so again we will see what she does. I know she isn't being rationale until she is ready to recover but with no one in the house speaking to her it has got to start hitting that point. She also said no one has ever made her feel as low as I have.... again I told her its not my actions, its our natural response to yours.
I already told her daughter about alateen and I think her son just has disconnected enough he just wont be around her.
As far as the "typical drinker" its a step, I hope for her to show a sign of commitment, even if she breaks it. To be honest I think she does want to get better but the alcohol consumption is what bonds her and her mother. I will almost guarantee that if her mother were to pass, she would let it go.