I've been on both sides of the street on this issue. I was married to an alcoholic for 13 years. His drinking caused irreparable damage. I pushed him to stop drinking and he retaliated with more drinking to use as a punishment towards me. We have been divorced for over ten years and he continues to drink. In fact, he bought a tavern so his environment is surrounded by alcohol. He is an alcoholic in denial.
Over the years I turned to alcohol as my crutch. If someone confronted me with my problem or even
suggested I had a problem, I became enraged, even though it was the truth. I didn't want anyone telling me what to do. How dare they, It was
my business and I'd drink if I wanted to. My problem escalated to a point of becoming dangerous to my life, that was when I was confronted again and this time I was ready to make major changes. I had to get to that point on my own accord. I had known I was out of control, but didn't know how to handle it. Bottom line, the decision can only be made by the person with the problem. You can't make anyone do what they don't want to do. It's a waste of time and effort.
Good luck Denise. You haven't had much luck with persuading or giving ultimatums to your husband in the past. I don't know why that is. A control issue or defiance?
All in know is my experience and it's results. It is up to the individual. Facing the facts of alcoholism is a scary thing. I know it was hard for me. Take care...
Talia