Hello everyone, i am new to this website and i would like to share my progress/problems/questions with all of you. First of all, my name is Dylan. Two years ago i got help getting sober from prescription pills. (Here in Utah it is very popular.) Anyways, i was a shy kid in junior high, wasn't top dog of the school, nor did i fit into any "cliche". The day i broke my ankle i was prescribed lortab. Soon after taking them daily, i realized "Hey, i feel really confident in myself when i take these." From then on i was Mr.Popular, mr.funny, mr.outgoing/gets all the girls guy. In my senior year i met a girl named Shannon. She had a drug problem as well, but with ecstasy. We did drugs, fell in love, found a place together, but one day reality struck. And so we went and got sober. I was prescribed suboxone 8mg, three a day. Well anyways, we broke up. And i feel like she was, and has been my main support beam for getting sober. Now that she is gone i feel as if i lost my will to stay sober, and to stay healthy. We broke up four months ago, and all i have been doing is sitting in my house playing videogames, not showering, pretty much being anti-social. I get so anxious when i make plans to hang out with somebody. Im too scared to leave my apartment, ive been craving drugs so bad, to get that "top dog" feeling back. i just need your help. i would love to hear any advice or tips to getting back out in the world, and doing what i love. For example: i use to play shows with my band, i would get the biggest rush off of this. But now its like i dont even want to pick up my guitar. I lost all self asteem, self confidence and im just hiding in my own shadows, hoping something will come along and change this. But really, i know now that i'm the only one who can change this. I regret not going to all my 12 step classes, and i really want to see a therapist. But i am afraid the therapist will prescribe me some sort of drug as a solvent. And that is what i tried to rid from my life these past two years. trust me, i abused any and every prescription there is.
