JayJay, I am sorry.
I do not want to welcome you to this club, as it is a club none of us ever wanted to join. Membership in this club sucks!
You are not alone here.
You are among friends/extended family that understand the pain and agony of this situation.
You are among survivors.
We will be here with you throughout this process.
It is a grieving process and all the emotions (anger, denial, bargaining, depression) are healthy responses to this crisis.
Feel them, identify them, and express them in healthy ways that do not harm yourself or others.
Allow them to pass through you. And I promise - they will pass!
You are going to be okay!
Sending ((((hugs))))) and support