(((Choublak))) - when I first got here, after decades of being a really good codie, I read "no is a complete sentence". I thought there was no way it could be that easy.
I would hurt someone's feelings, I would let someone down...on and on and on. It took me a while to realize that when I didn't say no, did whatever someone was asking me, I'd later be angry at myself (and them, to some degree) because I was doing something I didn't want to do in the first place.
I started saying "no" when I meant it. I'd also read "say what you mean, don't say it mean". Since everyone was used to me doing what they wanted, I got a lot of flak. Though, I didn't really have to, I did explain myself, at first.
I still get flak, every now and then, I still have people that don't understand a simple two-letter answer. The difference is? I'm not beating myself over the head because I didn't have the guts to say "no".
I know, for me, it took time and practice to learn that it's okay to do, or not do, something for me. The cool part is, it's a pretty good feeling knowing you stood up for yourself.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy