I know what you are going through, my soon to be X met someone in rehab and it carried over when he got out because i didn't understand him like her. He planed to see her every weekend until I called his Sponser and he told him not to go. He went to aa everynight and all weekend because that is what they told him to do, 1 hr before and 2 hours after I tried to reconnect with him but he became evil and mean and I was less then all of them, he became a selfish a$$. Then came the AA gf and he tried to bully me out of the house he finally left. I was a mess for a year then I got strong and angry and sat and thought about all the sh&t I put up with for 11 years and all the money he wasted on his bikes 80k in three years, and I am so much better and deserve better for myself, life is going great.. I am looking to but a new house when the divorce is final...believe me it will get better. I don't know if Alanon is for you or not that is up to you, it was not for me. I was at a point that I wanted to just end everything but I pulled myself up and I am so glad I did. I am glad he is gone out of my life because now all I have to take care of is me. I hope this helps a little. If you want to e-mail me feel free.
L