Originally Posted by
joedeertay 
Wow.... I expected to make this post and see it disappear .... I can't understand why 16 random people would take the time out of their lives to post in my thread to help me... But all I know is, it really means a lot! I also know that you all probably see a lot of new users post this and never be seen again.... And that I know it has been a while since I first posted this(been waiting for the right time).. And I apologize for not keeping you all updated.
But here is my update: As of now, I have came clean and I now have an appointment on Monday the 21st for a inpatient/outpatient center for an 'assessment'(don't really know that that means..)
I do have one question, how do I know that I have the right doctor? as in, the doctor who could make the best possible plan for my addiction with alcohol and valium/xanax...
And also, I just want my live back before I first had that first drink... And I'm worried about coming off of these drugs without any long lasting/forever effects to me/my personality..
P.S. I'm sorry for using so many '....' I'm just new to this coming clean/doing something about it...lol
Thank you SOO much for each and everyone of you for your post/suggestions/help/caring. It really means a lot!!
most addiction specialists prescribe a gradual taper program for getting off benzos. that seems to be the most painless way to do it.
As far as wanting to be who you were before all of this started, that's gonna be a tall order my friend. that proverbial "itch" you can't seem to scratch or the "urge to use and drink" will only ever go away if you follow a a good recovery program.
for most, if not all of us, this sickness... obsession...whatever you want to call it- has changed us forever.
that dosen't mean you can't get better or have a great life, but you have to do more than the avarage person to make sure you stay healthy and keep a good frame of mind.
you might want to check out the newcomers threads ...they have alot of good info there to help you early in recovery.
I was a half a gallon of whiskey a night drinker and was taking 6+mg of klonopin and chasing it with ambien almost daily. i went cold turkey almost 2 years ago and it almost killed me. i did have seizures and BP issues. i lost 40 pounds and couldn't get out of bed for a month. i do not reccommend doing things the way i did.
as far as the sleep, that answer is easy. your body is in a constant state of progressive withdrawal from the benzos and that's what's fueling the sleep issues. After my detox, i finally went to see an addictions counselor and that's what she told me.
once i finally got off of them, it took a few weeks for my body to get back to a normal rhythm, but it did. it was HARD to endure, but it was worth it.
now, i sleep normally, and it's a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Recovery is not easy. you'll never be the same, but you can be better. An please trust me when i tell you this...This road ....this way of recovery.... is the easier softer way.
please keep us updated regularly.