Thank you. I go to AA daily and it helps with recovery. And also helps me get out of myself for a while.
So I pray and pray and pray, then expect for Him to remove the guilt and shame? My family did not raise me to do the things I did. I only know the cravings for alcohol gave me anxiety / shakes (body and mind) and the anti-thesis of God (spirit) said it was okay to steal. Never in my right mind would I do those things now. NEVER! I'm an Eagle Boy Scout, Navy Veteran and Successful Businessman dangit! (Ego talking)
I just wish that things were different, but that is playing God right!? Ironically we once spoke that fate was working the day we met, and I believe that. Because there are no such things as coincidences. But maybe it was to save my life and not to live out our lives together.
But the cravings for alcohol are gone but the feelings are not. Because now I'm dealing with it sober and instead of drowning myself in alcohol.
And I really dont like being fake to others saying everything is going "Great!" because that is lying.
Enough about all that...