Sending hugs, TallTrees. I met my half-sister when we were in our late twenties (so we were older than you are now
). She's still my sister, always was and always will be. When we met has nothing to do with the fact that we're Family. Sounds like the same feelings are there for you and your siblings.
Catspajamas here on SR has a saying in her signature that she's shared with several of us (sometimes several times): What other people think of me is really none of my business! It hurts when it's family, but it's no less true. And just because they're family, doesn't mean you have to justify your boundaries to them, or sit there and listen as they berate you for not visiting. A simple "I've stated before why we don't stay here and am not willing to discuss it further at this time," is all that is needed.
The twins are so young - the same age as my DS - and I imagine that not being right there for them is kinda rough. They can't get to you, but you could always swing by and pick them up for a weekend visit / dinner / outing.
