Thanks. I think this was helpful.
I'm sorry, I thought I mentioned that the twins are 7. Guess I forgot. Yes, they are technically my half-brother and half-sister, but I'm lucky enough to have spent my life living with all my siblings, so none of us think of it that way.
Year-to year does make more sense than a permanent decision. I guess I'm afraid I won't know where to draw the line unless I say never, but I want to learn. Sometimes my mom has a way of reassuring me that things are better when we have a long uncomfortable phone conversation about how I never visit anymore, and just in the last year I have learned to stop falling for it.
I'm sorry about your mother, dollydo. When I imagine doing the no-contact like you have, I know they'd all just think I'm being disloyal. They expect me to "come around" one day embrace the choas that I grew up with, so I guess the hardest part is that none of them would really understand. But I know that doesn't matter when it comes to protecting my kids and my life. I'm sorry you had to do that; having some established boundaries is something I look forward to. I'm tired of being expected to "come around."