Dietryin

Hi everyone. I've been in and out of the rooms for a few years now. My life has become a country western song - my 22 year marriage is over, i lost 2 jobs because of my addiction, a house, filed bankruptcy, i have been told that for a woman my age i should not have cholesterol as high as 303 (and physically I am in decent shape....not obese as one might surmise), and the coupe de gras: yesterday a lump was found in my right breast.

I am at the bottom. I once held an esteemed position in the professional world. I was a PTA mom. A girl scout mom. Involved. Had lots of friends. Had 3 meals a day. Was faithful to my husband. Had a good clean healthy life full of laughter and more importantly love. My family was (and still is) my everything. I never thought I would find myself here. But here I sit in a hotel room alone......reading my CDA big book, going to meetings, praying for God's hand....the hand I always rejected. I am here for a few days and then will return home on Sunday. I will then be juggling mom stress, financial stress with recovery. At least my husband has agreed to come over everyday and help out with our daughter so that I can get some relief and make meetings.

So here I am. If I can't get clean and sober, I will at least die trying.

p.s. why do i have to tag this thread