New here... needing some advice/support
Hi everyone. I was hoping for some straightforward answers about this, because I keep wavering about my decisions.
My dad (stepdad) is an alcoholic who went to recovery about fifteen years ago but relapsed quickly. My mom struggles with alcoholism and severe depression. My older brother (25) drinks and uses heroin, has been on methadone for brief periods, and has recently (or maybe not so recently) began hitting his girlfriend, with whom he has a 1 year-old son. My mom, dad, brother's girlfriend, and my nephew all live in the same house--my mom claims that she kicked my brother out for punching his girlfriend in front of the twins, but I don't believe her because she has a long history of kicking him out "for good" and then for some reason continues to let him come back and claims that he is not using/drinking anymore, even though he always is. My granndmother (ACoA) also lives a short distance away and takes care of my uncle (25- her son) who is an alcoholic and has had DUI's, several scrapes with the law, and becomes violent when drinking. All of the holiday dinners and events are still held at her house.
I married my husband at 19 and moved six hours from my family because my husband was in the military. I'm happy with where my life has led me and I have no personal struggles with addiction. I now have two sons (14 months and 2 months). Going home to visit my family has gotten more stressful since I left (the drinking is worse, the violence between my brother and the rest of the family is worse, and everyone keeps pretending it doesn't exist/lying to each other [mostly to me] about it). My relationship with my mom is bitter because I have visited less often, I stay with my in-laws when we come, and I've expressed my anger to her about the situation. I have considered cutting ties with the entire family, but I feel heartbroken at the thought of not seeing my brother and sister (the twins) anymore, whom I spent a lot of time caring for before I left.
Is cutting ties the right thing to do in this situation? My husband's family lives a mile away from mine, so visiting would make things very tense if my family found out.