We met in a bar after the persistent encouragement to go there from a friend who couldn't believe that I was happy living alone after a long abusive marriage. So I went and we met. We both drank too much and that set the stage for our next 14 years. All dates had alcohol, all dinners, recreation, any event had to have alcohol. It remains that way now except that I got fed up with the hangovers 6 years ago and quit drinking. So she drinks at home alone now and goes out with those friends to the bars. Yes she has said that she has no intention of quitting. I never posed the option of "booze or me" because I know her answer would be booze. I just don't want to hear it. She didn't drink last night after the previous night out at the bar followed by half a bottle of wine at home. My shrink advised me to not look for the next woman friend in a bar. She gave good advice. But I doubt that I'll be looking for anyone, anywhere, anytime soon.