There was an element of surrender. Because I was at my wit's end. I went back to the 'experts' and actually listened to them this time around, instead of trying to do it all my way. I relapsed several times before getting a year plus sober, I had to get out of my head the mentality that once in awhile was okay, because that's just not recovery.
I had to put recovery in front of everything else in my life. But other areas of my life have definitely improved as a result of my sobriety, so it's a win-win.
Remember the old show 'The Wonder Years'? There was an episode where Kevin is struggling with his maths, finally he goes to his teacher and admits 'I give up, I have no idea what I'm doing.' The teacher turns to him and says 'Good, maybe now we can get started!'
A book helped me understand some of the reasons why I relapsed, 'Staying Sober', Terence Gorski. I hope it doesn't sound like a plug, but it helped me and there are good extracts online. There are no quick, instant fixes, 2 years in I'm still learning and am 'a work in progress'. Life is still sometimes difficult but I don't make mountains out of the molehills anymore, and I make sure I get help if I need it.
Very grateful to now be sober, but don't take it for granted.