Originally Posted by
WhoDey 
soberwingz ... I suppose I'm highly functioning and that's what fuels my view that I can handle this. Still, I'm not proud of where I'm at.
It's the pattern that mostly concerns me. Is there a difference between a physical dependence and a psychological dependence?
yeah - I hear you there! I mean I make a lot per year - have a staff of over 30 and people listen to me at work, because I am good and know what I'm talking about - know my field - Masters from Johns Hopkins. And yet I've started to forget things, can't remember people's names for S*** and know I'm not near as sharp as I was 5 years ago when this mess really started with the every night thing. This summer I actually forgot my son's name for about 10 minutes - scared the **** out of me.
Now I'm trying to stop before I lose my touch before (in like 10 years) I lose this job, my life style and self respect. I worked SO hard to get here - I don't want to wait until I'm like "Hopy crap what the heck happened? I had it all and I lost it!" I want to stop it before that - listen to the stories on this board. I'm trying so hard to learn from them - listen to them. Just keep reading. That's what I do everything that voice in my head goes off - the voice that's doing nothing more than getting me to keep drinking (not work out, not read a book, not better myself, but drink).
It's up to you - you do need to be dedicated to do this - it is hard to stop drinking - harder than I thought it would be (which is part of me knowing just how much of an issue I had).
Alcoholism is a progressive disease - that is a fact - proven by scientists and alcoholics alike. It is not steady - it is progressive - you have gotten worse (by your own account) and you will continue to get worse and it will be harder and harder to quit. Nature of the disease/condition.
Think about it - read and post and when you're ready STOP drinking.