I think the words used in the big book... "defects of character"... may have been the best words that Bill W. could have come up with to get to the meaning and purpose of the 4th step. I, like you, recoiled a little at that phrase. My own reaction to those words are complicated and beyond the scope of what I want to say here.
Get a sponsor.
Hmm, that's really what I have to say. Get a sponsor.... I had to see these steps in action, well, I had to put them in action myself... before I understood.
Far from being humiliating... they are liberating, life affirming and not at all toxic... when done they way they are intended.
If you went nine days and then fell off, well... I think the 1st step is the one to get your head, and more importantly, your heart, around...
Keep coming back!
