Originally Posted by
NobleCause 
.... it's a frustrating inner dialogue to keep up nonetheless, and it keeps me circling in places I probably shouldn't. A couple of times in the past couple of days I've put on my shoes and jacket to shoot over to the liquor store only to take them off minutes later after admitting defeat to my better judgement. This weekend will be my first one out and about since I quit, I am oddly curious to see how this goes.
Hi NobleCause,
Your analogy of "circling in places I probably shouldn't" is reminiscent to me of the patterns of acquired behavior that I, too, subconsciously seek. There is a seemingly "ordered" pattern to our lives, and indeed that is true of repetitive behavior. Some of it works -- get up, brush your teeth, shower..., and even the order people put on their socks and shoes doesn't feel right if they mix it around. So, besides the not getting high, quitting alcohol leaves "holes" in our repetitive behaviors, so not even the routine things feel right.
Maybe this will make things worse, but try an experiment and "mix things around" with your daily routine over the weekend. Avoid the repetition that would have led to the coat-on-go-to-car-drive-to-liquor-store chain of activity. Throw something entirely different into your day to disrupt the conditioned response of drinking behavior, which it is, at least in part.
I've done this with my quitting of alcohol, and later on, opiates. ReadyAndAble is spot on with the reference to AVRT. I did that method without even knowing it was a method. I think it is especially applicable for those of us who have already quit our DOC and need a way to stay there.
FT