Originally Posted by
failedtaper 
It is so representative of what addiction stands for, in terms of what those of us who choose recovery are up against. In the Shakespearean play, King V and his forces are battling France on territory once lost, and he urges his men ("dear friends") to blockade a break in the wall of the city, resisting the French forces at any cost, clogging up the breach with their dead bodies if necessary. England wins and the French King surrenders.
Sometimes the "forces" of addiction do feel that strong, and sometimes we do have to muster up our "dear friends" in a concerted effort to pound it back.
This is a very masculine concept, and even though I am female I do like this analogy. My "forces" are currently strong, but I am also on territory once lost.
'Once more unto the breach…' was the rally cry that squawked into my mind as i dragged myself out of a really bad spot awhile back after a lost weekend. My high school english teacher would be proud. I don't think I identified with the line in a militaristic sense at all (I am a staunchly anti-war pacifist so would be an odd metaphor), but the underdog, Hail-Mary desperation that I remembered defining the context in which Henry V delivered the command in the play seemed also to belong to me that morning. I was not at all sure if I would make it thru that day, but I was hell-bent on trying.
I'm about 10 days sober, and I'm still the underdog in this battle. It's been an awkward challenge lately - I am physically untethered from the bottle barring sporadic cravings, but still operating with circuits that reflexively turn every situation into a suggestion to have a drink. I get that it takes time for new patterns to take root, but it's a frustrating inner dialogue to keep up nonetheless, and it keeps me circling in places I probably shouldn't. A couple of times in the past couple of days I've put on my shoes and jacket to shoot over to the liquor store only to take them off minutes later after admitting defeat to my better judgement. This weekend will be my first one out and about since I quit, I am oddly curious to see how this goes.