i think most of us have felt what you are feeling.....I know i have. i know how ashamed i have felt and hopeless and lost and pissed off at everything and everybody. i used to sit in my bathroom, trying to shoot up for hours, i would come out of the bathroom with litterally mutilated arms, from knuckle to armpit, even my legs and ankles....and then look down out my son. oh the shame. but oh how rejoceful to know you dont havew to live that way. and YOU dont have to live that way any more either, with the shame and guilt and fear. one day at a time, you know the drill right? Miracles do happen!