I fell in love two years ago with a beautiful man. It has been a long difficult road but my heart was in it. I was told after the first relapse to let him go. That was at two months together. I have been with him through several relapses, treatments in patient and out, al anon weekend for me, a week long codependency retreat, and my own AA recovery (almost six years now). Just could simply not understand his oh so baffling addiction to crack. Have worked and worked and worked to find serenity and understanding and compassion for him and for myself. Tonight I am writing this and he is out again using. In calling around I discovered he has been lying about his "work" whereabouts all week or ten days and has been coming home and pretending. Amazing. This is my new low, and this is my bottom. I refuse to "love him to death" by enabling him. I have his friends ready to come take him away from the front door of our beautiful home because he cannot live here. He is not in recovery, he is an active addict. I dare say he uses recovery community and resources to manage his use. I pray for him. I love him. But I am letting him go. I am letting God love him now.