Right, so the car is packed and fuelled and I'm safe to drive. Here goes the bravest thing I will ever have to do. Return to my family, remain totally abstinent from alcohol and see what happens. If I start to waste away I have pancreatitis, if not maybe I'll be OK. I'll take some digital scales - I'm a scientist after all and it will be interesting to watch.
I haven't now had a decent nights sleep for 3 months with the kaleidoscope of pains. They get worse at night, particularly when I try to sober up. This is not going to be fun. I refuse to give in to self-pity - it's just a matter of retaining some degree of sanity and composure throughout.
Please guys, don't make the same mistakes as me. YOU NEVER KNOW when these things are going to strike. Please don't take the risk. I thought I could hedge my bets, manage my intake, do things my way despite all external advice and indeed my own documented experience. Talk about Step 1... I honestly thought I'd understood this earlier this year - cunning, baffling, powerful indeed. My recent drinking has been driven by absolute fear.
Anyway, it's not all bad. I'm still walking, still have my freedom and I'll see my young sister and Mum and Dad who love me very much. For that I am grateful.
Wish me luck.
Forwards - Son, Brother, Scientist, Entrepreneur, Alcoholic.