found a bottle under the kitchen sink tonite. just home from a 6 mile run following a long day at work, i grabbed for the dishwasher soap and came up with a half a fifth i've no recollection of buying, drinking, or stashing. it was like a punch in the gut. i froze. my body lit up and my mind went nuts - just one quick taste, just a tiny shot of relief, i can do this, just the rest of this one bottle tonite and tomorrow it's back to business, it's absurd to waste the good stuff, and you gotta give yourself a break and you woulda drunk it anyhow if you knew it was here. i stood there for a few moments, literally sweating thru the inner conflict, then dumped it. it didn't feel triumphant. it felt sad and definitive. i suppose it doesn't always feel awesome to do what you know you need to tho, and now, an hour later, i am very relieved to be sober.