Hi corageous
It gets better,
I broke up 3 years ago - XABF is still choosing alcohol over life. Nothing no one can do really. I felt hopeless but time and life has brought me to a better place and more clarity.
I wonder if you think not raising his voice, not forcing sex etc is something special? that is the bare minimum for a person that respects you...
There are more adventures to live, what helped/helps me was/(is!) Zen reading, remembering the temporary nature of everything... sooner or later, you would have to let him go.
I still miss my friend sometimes but it no longer brings me down as it used to, besides I know he is gone. Life has brought many other new friends, who truly care about me and are leading constructive lives... that is the company I truly need...
Hugs, congratulations on your degree!!