I do want to clarify that I know I can't make her decision for her. We all know she'll never grow that way and continue to be independent. We all learn by our mistakes. When I said I should have put the brakes on it in the beginning I meant I should have sat her down and really educated her on this condition, and strongly suggest she not get involved. I have told her numerous times that I trust her to make the best choice for herself, not for me or her father; however, I have told her in order to make the best choice for herself, she needs to listen to those who have walked this road. Since she had no strong feelings for him at that early stage, she probably would have decided against dating him. Sadly, I was distracted at the time by a suicide in the family, so I do blame myself for not 'guiding her' better when she first started seeing him. I totally agree with the person who said that at 23, she still can use some gentle guidance. I don't think 'muscling' a person into any decision works. I can only give her the facts and hopefully keep educating her, and she has to go from there. Ironically, I'm 53 and my mother passed 10 years ago, and I'd give anything to still have her wisdom and guidance. I don't think we stop mothering our children simply because they are adults. But, it should only be in the form of our opinion, and to give the facts presented in a way that the young adult should be able to form an educated decision. But we all know that young adults think with their hearts and hormones. I just wish there were a way to know how many alcohol and drug dependent people are successful in their recovery. I know there are no statistics, but it sure would perhaps help me feel less worried.