I don't want to be doing the wrong thing by him .......this is starting to really effect how I feel and act everyday. I dread coming home on one of his days off because I know the possibility that he will be drunk is so high.
You dread coming home, and yet you don't want to do wrong by him. I repeat, you dread coming home! I would sit in the car on the driveway not wanting to enter the house on his days off, after racing home to check he hadn't burned it down because he was hungry.
I know exactly how you feel and when I complained to my husband he took to hiding the drinking and denying it, which made me feel like not only was I over-reacting but now crazy to think he was drinking.
It's funny how they are acting inappropriately and we worry that we are! That we might hurt their feelings!
You are wise to be here and start reading. Alanon has helped a lot of us figure out how relationships with alcoholics work. It helped me a lot!
Sending you kind thoughts.