Hi and wellcome!
Glad you found this place as it was a lifesaver for many of us.
We understand your pain.
Stick around and read as much as you can. Post and vent whenever you feel like it.
You have taken the first step. There is no easy fix to your problems, I'm afraid, but here you can find tools for making your life better.
I presonally believe the only way to deal with any problem in life is to educate yourself about it. You're in the right place.
HUGS