I'm ridiculous
This is my first time on this website and after reading through others struggles it has helped me a lot. I live with my partner, with our dog and we have a house together we bought just last year. My partner is what I would classify I highly functioning alcoholic. ( but i do find myself questioning if i am wrong or over reacting ) No one but me would suspect he has a problem with drinking except me. He is a lovely person, he is friendly and outgoing, he is thoughtful, he is my best and closest friend, he is also manages a business and is very successful at it and he treats me well.
Our relationship if fun and full of love... but everything is turned upside down when drinking is involved. The only time we have ever fought (in our four year relationship) is when alcohol is involved. He has all the best intentions when goes out or work dinners or friends places only to have a few drinks but 80% of the time he goes overboard and comes home waisted.*
Last night he drank so much he wet our brand new bed. This is not the first time this has happened more like the 5th or 6th time. I understand that he is young and wants to have fun while we both are, but this isn't normal behavior (to me) but he makes me feels like I'm the only person who thinks this way. He called me ridiculous for not believing and being upset that he actually wanted to drink again the morning after he just wet the bed. He was saying I'm making such a huge deal out of six beers, but I know it doesn't stay at 6 beers...and it didn't.
I don't want to be doing the wrong thing by him because he is a genuinely wonderful person but i don't have anyone i can talk to and this is starting to really effect how I feel and act everyday. I dread coming home on one of his days off because I know the possibility that he will be drunk is so high.
Last year we were fighting because of drinking and things got pretty serious and he went to some AA meetings and also a psychologist but decided he could control the amount he drinks he was having and stopped.
I feel so hurt that he clearly know how devastated I am when he drinks and still decides to anyway, and I also find myself so so angry at him that I want to do something that will make him feel like I do... Make him understand or care how I feel.. I want to pay him back for all the tears i've cried.
*I feel like I've been talking for so long and still have so much to stay but I think I'll leave it there. I just need to vent and tell anyone what's going on because I feel like I have no one. Any *tips or feedback would be so greatly appreciated.*