Great posts soberlicious + readyandable. The life of an active alcoholic is not easier in any way form or manner, it sucks every semblance of peace of mind and joy out of your life and leaves you with a shell of a being filled with remorse, anxiety, depression and an unquenchable thirst for the brief period of solace that alcohol provides. It's kind of ironic that you only seek out the alcohol to get a brief respite from all the misery that the alcohol brought into your life.
NC, do you notice that people on here don't even know you but they like you because of the honesty in your posts. Face it, you're an awesome woman who just needs to rediscover that she doesn't need to be a slave to a substance to bring joy into her life. The gifts of peace of mind and joy were always a part of your being, they're just waiting for you to reclaim them!