soberlicious

This has been huge for me...momentum. It works both ways and I don't have to tell you that the negative momentum seems to have a life of it's own. Logically then it follows the same is true with positive momentum. Let the momentum of even one tiny success carry you onto to another tiny success and let the momentum pull you along. Each time the momentum is broken by drinking, the pull downward begins anew.

I have heard you say more than once that it's just easier to drink, or just easier to duck out than deal. It is not easier. It is very clearly not easier. Don't confuse "easier" with "familiar". New patterns are not "harder", they are just not familiar, therefore often uncomfortable. Continually effing up seemed easier for me in the past because I knew how to do that and did it well. In reality, it's waaaay easier now. I have no worries about what I've done while drinking, job security, losing my kids, being able to pay my bills, having friendships...so much easier. Even through tough times, and life guarantees plenty of those, it is easier to deal without a muddled up booze soaked brain. A certain pride and confidence came with taking charge of my life.

You don't sound whiny at all to me. Please keep posting. If your writing during these struggling times has the impact it does on so many, just imagine the inspiration your sober self will bring to others. I, for one, have complete faith that you can do this and do it once and for all. Don't underestimate yourself.