I know what you mean.
Much of your post makes sense to me. I'm not suicidal any more, but there is a certain dull lifeless nature to my life on occasion. I'm sure that if I were going through the same situation you are with the divorce and the relationship issues that I would probably feel even worse.
The thing that I have to remember is where I came from, what I was like and how desperate and dead I was seven months ago. Even though life isn't great, it is much improved.
If you were to put this into recovery terms, you could say that alcohol was your solution, the one thing that could make your life somewhat "manageable", at least temporarily. Now the alcohol is gone, but you still have an unmanageable life. I get it. I think it does relate to recovery because it's something you have to address. My personal opinion is if you don't keep fighting for that -- whatever it is, spiritual awakening, peace of mind or whatever -- if you give up the fight for that then you give up the battle for your recovery and eventually you will drink again.
Maybe I'm just feeling melodramatic, but that's how I feel tonight.
I think for me, the thing that keeps driving me forward now is the fact that I know that this exists for other people. I know that others (addicts or not) do live healthy, fulfilling lives full of meaning and purpose and spirituality. If I died tomorrow I don't think I would regret fighting for that even if I didn't achieve it.
Anyways I'm rambling on, and maybe that's not exactly what you're driving at, but I would keep talking about it because I do think it relates to your recovery.