Threshold, I'd be feeling just the same way. It took me awhile to feel satisfied with being sober - probably alot longer than most.
I missed my escape when times were rough, but I had to keep reminding myself getting numb doesn't really help or resolve anything. We're just masking our feelings. The same old problems are still there when we sober up, and we've added getting drunk to the list of troubles & things to feel guilty about. You don't need that.
I'm glad you told us about your anxiety - maybe that helped a little. We're here to help you through these times - no need to pretend everything's wonderful. One day, I hope it will be though.