You are not alone..
Hello Panrose...
I am so sorry to hear about your experience, but am so glad you are doing something about it...
You had mentioned that you have lost many friends as a result of your drinking...
I lost my last boyfriend because he refuses to recognize that he has a drinking problem....
Even though, I'm not able to be in his life becuase of this, I still continue to love and care about him very much...
I have no doubt in my mind, that from afar, your friends still love and care about you too...
I wish you the very best....